Project 219: Day163- This is the worst blog year ever!

Its starting to feel like a chore to blog partly because I'm so darn lost lately!

Too many brain cells are just crossing wires that I'm starting to think

I'm going insane!

However there's hope in the horizon!

Just like killing my garden due to neglect and lack of preparation this year

the same goes for my blog! 

However I took care of the matter and I'm healing my garden again!

I am learning or re-learning a lesson in time or self-management. It's not like I didn't know how

to do it.... It's a lack of motivation.

So the questions in my mind for the last month was: 

"how am I suppose to motivate others if I myself cannot be motivated lately?" 

Duh!!

The pondering went on and on and I tried to dig into that left-brain memory storage to see if I can retrieve a file of data that I used to receive from reading all the inspirational/self-help gurus. 

Nothing special popped up except for the fact that I knew for myself that motivation needs motion!

I just had to move it!

I finally picked up the slack and attacked the weeds in my garden. Lol!

So here's today's dilemma...

When opportunities come along and sometimes they come in bundles looking something like a buffet of sushi or favorite delicious seafood... It's hard to decide what to eat. It's easy to say 'eat them all!'

Somehow nature has a way of saying: "don't or you'll pay for it!"

So yup it's hard to make choices that will lead you to that destination when the opportunities all 

appear to be the same at times. 

I'm closing to the end of my project219 and I'm faced with a decision.

So what to do in this case?

Prayer is the first and always my número uno solution

However, it's not always answered quickly or directly.

Many times the big guy wants you to keep looking for the answers. 

But you'll always 'feel' it when it's right! 

Key is to look for it.

Today is that day where Im again standing in front of my crossroads.

What else is new :)

Project 219: Day137 - My brain is going to burst if I don't blog (June Recap)

Omg...

What a crazy month it's been!

I need a blog break and yes it's already Day 137 in my Project219!!!

The time is ticking!!!

First let's talk about my birthday.... 

I felt shortchanged this year and that's because my birthday has been sidetracked by my busy-ness in studying this summer. My brain is not quite accustomed to retaining infos lately.

It's been years since I've been in a classroom. It's like a recurring nightmare about cramming and failing! Thank goodness you wake up from nightmares and still have that 50/50 chance of passing an exam. 

To make a long story short, my muscles in the brain has had more exercise than any muscle in my body for the past month. I haven't been to the gym and I can count in one hand how often I've been in a month. It's ridiculous!!!

So to add damage to it... My bday lunches or dinners have been postponed with friends but it's ok 

I had a great bday dinner with a group of friends the night before and then with family on my bday.

Can't really complain.

Today I just wanted to release my frustrations here and wish for this week to end because it means a few weeks break from my summer program and then I can comeback to blogging!

But it's not all that bad, I'm learning a ton of things that I thought I already knew about. It just shows that there's always something new to learn. It's exciting but exhausting because it's an intensive course. I can't complain... It's the journey that I chose to take in order to become closer to what I want to become. 

A little sacrifice of my time and an investment for my future happiness in my chosen profession :)

Project 219: Day-120- May and June (review and renew)

All of June was a lot of time spent on cleaning and preparing up my garden

- finally packed away my luggages from cruise after a month

- cleaned up closet and got rid of old clothes to make room for new

-cleaned up shoe closet for new shoes - feeling excited 

- family obligations and church activities and parties 

- and other distractions

The most important thing was that my shoulders finally feel 85% better and mobility is there.

I am able to work out with a bit of weights. My arms feel flabby and I've gained a total of 10 lbs

but it's not all that bad. My joy for shoulder mobility exceeds the disappointing weight gain.

PLUS ... My garden is done and all I have to do is manage it.

It's been a few crazy weeks even months but I am almost back to normal.

It's almost as if some evil force was gathering around me to prevent me from reaching my goals but I have to keep going and if fought through it.

I also did some backsliding and went back into my terrible shopaholic mode online

to the point that Paypal started holding back funds. That's not good!

But i took that for a really bad sign and I had to stop. It took a while to slow down the shopping

but I had no choice because there just isn't anymore room for the shoes and clothes that I had to give a lot away.

But again it's just one of those things that happened because it needed to happen so that I can relearn an important lesson. This time around I had felt the frustration of not having enough space.

I felt really crammed. I needed to clean out. I was even thinking that if my kids moved out I would have more space for my shoes and clothes. Shame on me! Lol!

Little did I realize that I was only cramming my spirits by adding physical stuff!

However I can take it hard or I can be positive about it and still have the good feeling of new wardrobe.

A new wardrobe for a new journey!

I feel a bit more liberated and happy that I have a new wardrobe and the lesson of 

'not putting things above people'!

When we feel physical pain it can lead to other pains as well. Because of the lack of sleep it weakens my overall spirit. But it all can be fought over time.

It takes a lot of prayers and patience to overcome the trials.

Now I'm back and I've made new plans.

I have lost many weeks and feel like I was battling my way just to get to this point.

I only have 100days left and this is where the miracles will have to happen if I want my project 219

to happen.

Project 219: Day 99 - 101; A Lesson in forgiveness through Zumba Love (part 2)

Failed!!!

I was first disappointed and then angry.

I decided I was angry at Joe being the detailed person and forgetting to put back the clock.

He knew my disappointment and so he left me alone to sulk lol!

I went to the gym to work off my frustrations and I can't remember the last time I ever felt the way I felt.

I had never felt so disappointed and really couldn't shake it off for a good hour.

I was on the treadmill telling myself that it's not his fault but I was still mad. I even prayed to get rid of the feeling and to forgive Joe lol!

It was lunch time and I was finally feeling less angry but I couldn't help but tell him

that it was still his fault. In my mind I really wanted to blame him. Poor guy :)

But I could really tell in his face that he was sorry too. He has never seen me so disappointed and I have never been so high about something like Zumba just to be crushed. 

We finally talked it out and the feeling slowly went away.

Every night after that incidence. i kept checking for the next Zumba class

And I wondered why they didn't do it everyday!!!

Finally... Saturday morning was the next Zumba class.

I was high again and this time I wasn't going to miss it. 

I was excited all over again!

Just because it was in the ship, it was a Latino male teacher! 

How fun!!!

The day came and I was ready to party!

The spotlights were on very bright and a little too warm. 

I was in the front row (who would've guessed lol) right with him and ready to jam!

The floor was packed and also the surrounding room was full of enthusiast ready to burn calories.

The music finally went on and played what seemed very different more to what I'm used to.

It was like a slow disco and felt like tai-chi on steroids lol!

We stretched slowly to the whole music.

Finally we passed the warm-up

The second song was a faster pace again disco-like music

He used the same stretches and incorporated more leg moves

But to me it started to feel like the same routine as the first except a little faster

I was relieved that the second stretch was over but at this point I was starting to have some doubts about the guy.

Third song...

A tad faster but still wondered 'where the heck is the Latin music hiding!??!'

AND...This guy was Latino!

He incorporated some hip-movements which I call a 'hula' move to all my sexy-song routines playlist.

Yet still, it was slow and again the stretches came back too often.

I was getting disappointed and wondered "Where is the Zumba in this Zumba party???"

5th and 6th song still no Latin, still no Zumba moves just different stretches and occasional grapevine moves. I was getting upset and frustrated.

The next song came on and it was finally Latin but very very basic. More of a dance-style class than a Zumba choreography. And I had hope... Maybe it gets better from here!!!

Then the disco-style and same stretches came on... and I finally got out of there.

Then Joe smiled as he saw my disappointment.

Again he was sorry and chuckling then said...

I guess you didn't miss much last Zumba class huh??!!

Again the same feelings of disappointment. 

I felt shamelessly foolish for ever taking it out on Joe the first time and to think that I had a hard time

trying to forgive him over Zumba.

What I take from it is that I should remember that there is nothing worth getting angry over or just don't sweat the small stuff! Especially taking it out on love ones.... It's not worth it! Lol!

Project 219: Day 99 - 101; A Lesson in forgiveness through Zumba Love (part 1)

This one is a little silly but worth noting for my own growth lol!

Cruising twice a year is like a vacation from my healthy lifestyle. So twice a year I break all the rules!

I eat and eat until I'm so full that I nap almost everyday 

But over the years I've learned that I pretty much ruin some nights trying to ease my uncomfortably full stomach and feeling very sluggish the next day. So it was not worth it to binge eat lol!

But the food is there and yes I've learned to spread it out in 6 meals.

However, the scale never lies and the muffintop comes back very easily. I used to pack on a pound a day for each cruise day. So I had to find other solutions so I can still enjoy the food.

So I compensate by taking walks on the deck and going to the fitness center then ending the night at the dance club trying to burn at least the calories at breakfast.

This time around, I read reviews about the new Norwegian fleets having Zumba onboard.

I was soooo excited that I actually packed 1/4 of my luggage with fitness clothes. 

I was ready to Zumba onboard and maybe even show a routine or two if permitted.

So there we were enjoying our cruise and I was excited to see the daily schedule of activities every night that it arrived in our stateroom.

Yes!!!! 

Day 2 was Zumba at 10:00 in the morning!

Although I knew I would be groggy from my usual motion sickness at sea day, and it usually takes two full days for my system to get accustomed to the movements...

I was still determined to wake up and move to Zumba!

My hubby who loves to plan our vacations and even schedule the very small details like 'what to wear'

(so that I don't spend two hrs changing lol), always let's me sleep the first two days.

But he knows I love Zumba more than sleep and at that time he hoped that it would snap me out of my motion sickness early. 

So he was cheering me on!

There we were having our early breakfast delivered to our room. Then killed some time touring the big ship and even caught an extra activity for Joe to try what looked like an overhead jungle gym.

 It was now time and we moved towards the middle of the ship to the atrium where they would be having this Zumba party!

But wait!

 There was the animal towel folding activity. 

What happened??..

So we waited a little but when I checked the schedule it looked as if there was a mistake or what I thought was a swap in activity. 

Why???

I just couldn't understand why they would do a stupid thing like that.

I even thought that maybe not a lot of people wanted to do Zumba and so they stopped it?

So I stopped guessing and decided to ask a worker.

And she said...

"Zumba was at 10am Madame!"

Joe and I looked at each other in confusion and checked our watches,

then realized that we forgot to move our clocks backwards.

Project 219: Day 81-98, My mini-vacation paid off!

It was short and fattening as usual but it was worth the 'break' on the NCL Breakaway!

I had planned on blogging about my daily activities on my cruise but the good intentions and inspirations to do so was completely overpowered by the daily activities lol!

However, the most important thing to note are these 3 major events:

1- I felt rested and never had so much sleep in a long time.

I become the Sleeping Beauty at sea for two full days. This is our 9th cruise and it was the usual motion-sickness on the first two days while cruising. I'm not sure if it's the patch but there is always a reversal of roles that occurs when I'm at sea vs when I'm at home.

At home I struggle to sleep and at sea I struggle to stay awake the first two days.

But sadly, the last two nights coming back I was getting up more frequently. Nonetheless I felt as if I've caught up on all the sleeps I've lost over the past few months. 

2 - My shoulder pain problem has been alleviated. It's still not back to normal but it is much more manageable and has more motion ranges. It must've been the pink sands of Bermuda and the beautiful torqouise waters. I'm on the road back to healing and I'm very happy about that!

3 - Zumba on the cruise taught me a thing or two about forgiveness!!!

I can blog about this whole incident .... and I think I will for my own memo :)

(Cont..)

Project 219: Day 77- 80, Cortisone Injection and I can't wait to have freedom from pain!

So I finally caved and asked for a cortisone injection for my now frozen shoulder tendonits 

I panicked all week because I really hate needles.

But if I need my shoulders to work again and to have a painless vacation, I had to deal with the needle injection 

Heck it was really painful.

 It felt as if the needle went into my bone but I'm still traumatized just remembering it. 

The doctor suggested that I rested but i insisted that I had to do Zumba and promised i wouldn't 

raise my arm too much.

Sure enough, I got hurt.

Twice!!!

 But it's over now and I feel better after a whole week of pain.

I'm just waiting to see how effective this injection will be.

Well things are looking up already! My life seems less painful and gloomy.

Being in pain has so much darkness.

Thursday night, Elder Morales (who is on a mission for our church) called me early for Mother's Day.

It was also his birthday. It was nice to finally see him on skype and speak with him since Christmas.

He only gets to call home those two special days of the year.

Friday morning I wanted to go to the temple and do some service. So I brought a friend along who hasn't been in years. It was a full session and I was very tired and sleepy but I felt great otherwise.

Then I started packing for my vacation.

Today I'm getting ready to embark on another journey on a cruise with hubby and hopefully I will be able to relax, regroup and find my strength back. I never felt so drained like this and really need this break. It's no coincidence that we are going on a new NCL ship called Breakaway :)

Freedom from pain :)