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Thursday, July 31, 2014

Project 219: Day163- This is the worst blog year ever!

Its starting to feel like a chore to blog partly because I'm so darn lost lately!
Too many brain cells are just crossing wires that I'm starting to think
I'm going insane!

However there's hope in the horizon!
Just like killing my garden due to neglect and lack of preparation this year
the same goes for my blog! 
However I took care of the matter and I'm healing my garden again!

I am learning or re-learning a lesson in time or self-management. It's not like I didn't know how
to do it.... It's a lack of motivation.

So the questions in my mind for the last month was: 
"how am I suppose to motivate others if I myself cannot be motivated lately?" 

The pondering went on and on and I tried to dig into that left-brain memory storage to see if I can retrieve a file of data that I used to receive from reading all the inspirational/self-help gurus. 

Nothing special popped up except for the fact that I knew for myself that motivation needs motion!
I just had to move it!
I finally picked up the slack and attacked the weeds in my garden. Lol!

So here's today's dilemma...
When opportunities come along and sometimes they come in bundles looking something like a buffet of sushi or favorite delicious seafood... It's hard to decide what to eat. It's easy to say 'eat them all!'
Somehow nature has a way of saying: "don't or you'll pay for it!"

So yup it's hard to make choices that will lead you to that destination when the opportunities all 
appear to be the same at times. 

I'm closing to the end of my project219 and I'm faced with a decision.
So what to do in this case?

Prayer is the first and always my nĂºmero uno solution
However, it's not always answered quickly or directly.
Many times the big guy wants you to keep looking for the answers. 
But you'll always 'feel' it when it's right! 

Key is to look for it.

Today is that day where Im again standing in front of my crossroads.
What else is new :)

Tuesday, July 8, 2014

Project 219: Day137 - My brain is going to burst if I don't blog (June Recap)

What a crazy month it's been!
I need a blog break and yes it's already Day 137 in my Project219!!!
The time is ticking!!!

First let's talk about my birthday.... 
I felt shortchanged this year and that's because my birthday has been sidetracked by my busy-ness in studying this summer. My brain is not quite accustomed to retaining infos lately.
It's been years since I've been in a classroom. It's like a recurring nightmare about cramming and failing! Thank goodness you wake up from nightmares and still have that 50/50 chance of passing an exam. 
To make a long story short, my muscles in the brain has had more exercise than any muscle in my body for the past month. I haven't been to the gym and I can count in one hand how often I've been in a month. It's ridiculous!!!
So to add damage to it... My bday lunches or dinners have been postponed with friends but it's ok 
I had a great bday dinner with a group of friends the night before and then with family on my bday.
Can't really complain.

Today I just wanted to release my frustrations here and wish for this week to end because it means a few weeks break from my summer program and then I can comeback to blogging!

But it's not all that bad, I'm learning a ton of things that I thought I already knew about. It just shows that there's always something new to learn. It's exciting but exhausting because it's an intensive course. I can't complain... It's the journey that I chose to take in order to become closer to what I want to become. 

A little sacrifice of my time and an investment for my future happiness in my chosen profession :)

Tuesday, June 17, 2014

Project 219: Day-120- May and June (review and renew)

All of June was a lot of time spent on cleaning and preparing up my garden

- finally packed away my luggages from cruise after a month
- cleaned up closet and got rid of old clothes to make room for new
-cleaned up shoe closet for new shoes - feeling excited 
- family obligations and church activities and parties 
- and other distractions

The most important thing was that my shoulders finally feel 85% better and mobility is there.
I am able to work out with a bit of weights. My arms feel flabby and I've gained a total of 10 lbs
but it's not all that bad. My joy for shoulder mobility exceeds the disappointing weight gain.
PLUS ... My garden is done and all I have to do is manage it.

It's been a few crazy weeks even months but I am almost back to normal.
It's almost as if some evil force was gathering around me to prevent me from reaching my goals but I have to keep going and if fought through it.
I also did some backsliding and went back into my terrible shopaholic mode online
to the point that Paypal started holding back funds. That's not good!
But i took that for a really bad sign and I had to stop. It took a while to slow down the shopping
but I had no choice because there just isn't anymore room for the shoes and clothes that I had to give a lot away.
But again it's just one of those things that happened because it needed to happen so that I can relearn an important lesson. This time around I had felt the frustration of not having enough space.
I felt really crammed. I needed to clean out. I was even thinking that if my kids moved out I would have more space for my shoes and clothes. Shame on me! Lol!
Little did I realize that I was only cramming my spirits by adding physical stuff!

However I can take it hard or I can be positive about it and still have the good feeling of new wardrobe.
A new wardrobe for a new journey!
I feel a bit more liberated and happy that I have a new wardrobe and the lesson of 
'not putting things above people'!
When we feel physical pain it can lead to other pains as well. Because of the lack of sleep it weakens my overall spirit. But it all can be fought over time.
It takes a lot of prayers and patience to overcome the trials.
Now I'm back and I've made new plans.
I have lost many weeks and feel like I was battling my way just to get to this point.
I only have 100days left and this is where the miracles will have to happen if I want my project 219
to happen.

Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Project 219: Day 99 - 101; A Lesson in forgiveness through Zumba Love (part 2)


I was first disappointed and then angry.
I decided I was angry at Joe being the detailed person and forgetting to put back the clock.
He knew my disappointment and so he left me alone to sulk lol!
I went to the gym to work off my frustrations and I can't remember the last time I ever felt the way I felt.

I had never felt so disappointed and really couldn't shake it off for a good hour.
I was on the treadmill telling myself that it's not his fault but I was still mad. I even prayed to get rid of the feeling and to forgive Joe lol!
It was lunch time and I was finally feeling less angry but I couldn't help but tell him
that it was still his fault. In my mind I really wanted to blame him. Poor guy :)
But I could really tell in his face that he was sorry too. He has never seen me so disappointed and I have never been so high about something like Zumba just to be crushed. 

We finally talked it out and the feeling slowly went away.

Every night after that incidence. i kept checking for the next Zumba class
And I wondered why they didn't do it everyday!!!

Finally... Saturday morning was the next Zumba class.
I was high again and this time I wasn't going to miss it. 

I was excited all over again!
Just because it was in the ship, it was a Latino male teacher! 
How fun!!!

The day came and I was ready to party!

The spotlights were on very bright and a little too warm. 
I was in the front row (who would've guessed lol) right with him and ready to jam!
The floor was packed and also the surrounding room was full of enthusiast ready to burn calories.
The music finally went on and played what seemed very different more to what I'm used to.
It was like a slow disco and felt like tai-chi on steroids lol!
We stretched slowly to the whole music.

Finally we passed the warm-up
The second song was a faster pace again disco-like music
He used the same stretches and incorporated more leg moves
But to me it started to feel like the same routine as the first except a little faster
I was relieved that the second stretch was over but at this point I was starting to have some doubts about the guy.
Third song...
A tad faster but still wondered 'where the heck is the Latin music hiding!??!'
AND...This guy was Latino!

He incorporated some hip-movements which I call a 'hula' move to all my sexy-song routines playlist.
Yet still, it was slow and again the stretches came back too often.
I was getting disappointed and wondered "Where is the Zumba in this Zumba party???"
5th and 6th song still no Latin, still no Zumba moves just different stretches and occasional grapevine moves. I was getting upset and frustrated.

The next song came on and it was finally Latin but very very basic. More of a dance-style class than a Zumba choreography. And I had hope... Maybe it gets better from here!!!
Then the disco-style and same stretches came on... and I finally got out of there.

Then Joe smiled as he saw my disappointment.
Again he was sorry and chuckling then said...
I guess you didn't miss much last Zumba class huh??!!

Again the same feelings of disappointment. 
I felt shamelessly foolish for ever taking it out on Joe the first time and to think that I had a hard time
trying to forgive him over Zumba.

What I take from it is that I should remember that there is nothing worth getting angry over or just don't sweat the small stuff! Especially taking it out on love ones.... It's not worth it! Lol!

Project 219: Day 99 - 101; A Lesson in forgiveness through Zumba Love (part 1)

This one is a little silly but worth noting for my own growth lol!

Cruising twice a year is like a vacation from my healthy lifestyle. So twice a year I break all the rules!
I eat and eat until I'm so full that I nap almost everyday 
But over the years I've learned that I pretty much ruin some nights trying to ease my uncomfortably full stomach and feeling very sluggish the next day. So it was not worth it to binge eat lol!
But the food is there and yes I've learned to spread it out in 6 meals.
However, the scale never lies and the muffintop comes back very easily. I used to pack on a pound a day for each cruise day. So I had to find other solutions so I can still enjoy the food.
So I compensate by taking walks on the deck and going to the fitness center then ending the night at the dance club trying to burn at least the calories at breakfast.

This time around, I read reviews about the new Norwegian fleets having Zumba onboard.
I was soooo excited that I actually packed 1/4 of my luggage with fitness clothes. 
I was ready to Zumba onboard and maybe even show a routine or two if permitted.

So there we were enjoying our cruise and I was excited to see the daily schedule of activities every night that it arrived in our stateroom.

Day 2 was Zumba at 10:00 in the morning!
Although I knew I would be groggy from my usual motion sickness at sea day, and it usually takes two full days for my system to get accustomed to the movements...
I was still determined to wake up and move to Zumba!

My hubby who loves to plan our vacations and even schedule the very small details like 'what to wear'
(so that I don't spend two hrs changing lol), always let's me sleep the first two days.
But he knows I love Zumba more than sleep and at that time he hoped that it would snap me out of my motion sickness early. 
So he was cheering me on!
There we were having our early breakfast delivered to our room. Then killed some time touring the big ship and even caught an extra activity for Joe to try what looked like an overhead jungle gym.
 It was now time and we moved towards the middle of the ship to the atrium where they would be having this Zumba party!

But wait!
 There was the animal towel folding activity. 
What happened??..
So we waited a little but when I checked the schedule it looked as if there was a mistake or what I thought was a swap in activity. 
I just couldn't understand why they would do a stupid thing like that.
I even thought that maybe not a lot of people wanted to do Zumba and so they stopped it?

So I stopped guessing and decided to ask a worker.
And she said...
"Zumba was at 10am Madame!"

Joe and I looked at each other in confusion and checked our watches,
then realized that we forgot to move our clocks backwards.

Tuesday, May 27, 2014

Project 219: Day 81-98, My mini-vacation paid off!

It was short and fattening as usual but it was worth the 'break' on the NCL Breakaway!
I had planned on blogging about my daily activities on my cruise but the good intentions and inspirations to do so was completely overpowered by the daily activities lol!

However, the most important thing to note are these 3 major events:

1- I felt rested and never had so much sleep in a long time.

I become the Sleeping Beauty at sea for two full days. This is our 9th cruise and it was the usual motion-sickness on the first two days while cruising. I'm not sure if it's the patch but there is always a reversal of roles that occurs when I'm at sea vs when I'm at home.
At home I struggle to sleep and at sea I struggle to stay awake the first two days.
But sadly, the last two nights coming back I was getting up more frequently. Nonetheless I felt as if I've caught up on all the sleeps I've lost over the past few months. 

2 - My shoulder pain problem has been alleviated. It's still not back to normal but it is much more manageable and has more motion ranges. It must've been the pink sands of Bermuda and the beautiful torqouise waters. I'm on the road back to healing and I'm very happy about that!

3 - Zumba on the cruise taught me a thing or two about forgiveness!!!
I can blog about this whole incident .... and I think I will for my own memo :)

Saturday, May 10, 2014

Project 219: Day 77- 80, Cortisone Injection and I can't wait to have freedom from pain!

So I finally caved and asked for a cortisone injection for my now frozen shoulder tendonits 
I panicked all week because I really hate needles.
But if I need my shoulders to work again and to have a painless vacation, I had to deal with the needle injection 
Heck it was really painful.
 It felt as if the needle went into my bone but I'm still traumatized just remembering it. 
The doctor suggested that I rested but i insisted that I had to do Zumba and promised i wouldn't 
raise my arm too much.
Sure enough, I got hurt.
 But it's over now and I feel better after a whole week of pain.
I'm just waiting to see how effective this injection will be.

Well things are looking up already! My life seems less painful and gloomy.
Being in pain has so much darkness.

Thursday night, Elder Morales (who is on a mission for our church) called me early for Mother's Day.
It was also his birthday. It was nice to finally see him on skype and speak with him since Christmas.
He only gets to call home those two special days of the year.

Friday morning I wanted to go to the temple and do some service. So I brought a friend along who hasn't been in years. It was a full session and I was very tired and sleepy but I felt great otherwise.
Then I started packing for my vacation.

Today I'm getting ready to embark on another journey on a cruise with hubby and hopefully I will be able to relax, regroup and find my strength back. I never felt so drained like this and really need this break. It's no coincidence that we are going on a new NCL ship called Breakaway :)

Freedom from pain :)

Monday, May 5, 2014

Project 219: Day 71-76: More doctor visits

So it's Monday again and I'm at another doctor's clinic. I've never been to this much doctor's visit since my 3 kids were born. Its not fun but I guess I may as well catch up on my blog while I try to wait 'patiently' here.

So this past few days went by quick. Not much to record except for the Sunday Lessons at Sunday school and RS Lesson that felt like an added pain to my side. Pain because it's something I set aside and avoided. One of the topics was Time Management. 
And yes it felt as if it was for me but I will definitely get on it today. And the also read the lesson 
I've missed in Sunday school.

I'm done complaining I can't use pain as my excuse anymore.
Here's an interesting observation though:
It seems that even though I have bodily pains and I feel weary whenever it comes
to Zumba or working out I somehow manage to pick myself up and go!
But on the other end of the spectrum... I use my pain as an excuse to delay all other
Or is it perhaps because I pick and choose where I want to allocate most of my energy?
Knowing that I have only a limited time and energy I deliberately prioritize my exercise and fitness?

I'm still at awe that I now actually put my health and fitness in the forefront.
 It's awesome!

Now I'm sitting here upset that this doctor's visit is taking up my morning exercise routines.
When in the past on a normal day when I'm at my best I would only think about doing 20mins of exercise and dreaded only the thought of it.
I could never get up and get motivated to start. I hated it and hate is a very strong word.
Now working out once a day doesn't even feel like it's enough or I feel shortchanged doing only Zumba without the strength training. 

My mindset is totally changed and I can actually say that my system has worked
and I could be proud about it.
Now if I can use that system to my way of eating and some other areas I believe I would also succeed!
That would be amazing and all it takes is the decision to do it.

Do I want to?
I guess it starts back to the question...
Why should I?
And is my 'why' compelling enough for me to move towards that goal?

Tuesday, April 29, 2014

Project 219: Day 62-70 - I don't always appreciate my memory!

Important note to myself: Avoid Stress at all cost!!!
Stress is a choice!

So to recap this past few days:
It's too personal to mention here but for my own reference lets just say it's
been a lot of pain and setbacks. 

Pain due to physiotherapy which was suppose to help but I immediately stopped and I feel much better today. Gotta find another alternative and I'm glad that I'm able to get input from friends and the internet.
One thing really leads to another and I almost fell into a depression due to the frustration and more lack of sleep. Couldn't even tie up my hair for Zumba class and now my range of motion for my shoulder is less that when I started.
What an awful time.
I've learned a lot about myself this past week and how I've lost a bit of momentum in my journey due to looking backwards. It was very boldly taught to me this past Sunday during all the messages at church and even my own lesson that I taught. I have to really monitor my stress triggers and why I'm not moving forward as I should.

One thing to keep in mind from now on is to never look backwards. 
Not something I didn't already know!!
It's just that at times we forget because we look for distractions to calm the pain or whatever stress we are going through. One thing I've learned is that the adversary also uses our 'memory' as a tool to weaken us through past desires. So we look back and remember those things that give us unworthy pleasures. Eg. Excessive Shopping or the comforting feel of a Nutella on bread as a mid-afternoon snack lol!

So I'm  repeating some of my past mistakes and I'm glad I caught this before I self-destruct.
 And how do I get to this point? Well temptations come easily when we are weak physically and our guards are down. This is from the physical pain then lack of sleep and over fatigue. It's a chain reaction and so is the consequences. So ya I've been shopping but it's all good now. I caught myself in time and I'm grateful that I am guided through divine interventions :)
Unfortunately some things are revisited over and over again until we learn the lesson well. 

Daily Dare:  "Avoidance is more powerful than resistance"

Monday, April 21, 2014

Project 219: Day 60-61: April Showers bring May flowers- (planning)

Saturday was the usual- 
Zumba and workout in the morning. 
Was locked out of the building and had to go back home for keys to the gym.
Joe was busy making the Ferrero Rocher Cheesecake for Easter
Spent time with the sick baby in the afternoon
And finished the day with a wonderful Easter concert at church.
It was so beautiful and I was captivated with the spiritual blessings of talented singers all night.

Sunday we went to attend the Kirkland ward because it was close to my sis-in-law's home
and the Sunday service was full of singing and it felt like a continued service from the Easter concert except less powerful vocally. The Easter concert was powerful indeed and it lingers.

We had a big Easter brunch at my Inlaws and family. 

I need to plan my next week's exercise and diet!

It was nice and we had played some fun board games. 

Project 219: Day 59 -April Showers bring May flowers- (planning)

Good Friday

Today was a Great Friday 

Joe took the day off work and we had a nice day together. 
I still managed to inject 2hrs of gym time for me in the morning while he babysat
ESA for a little bit. 

After lunch we went out to watch Captain America 2 and experienced the VIP Cineplex Scotia Theater!
That was a blast :)
It was comfortable, private and had all the amplified digital sound effects and yes the stuff hubby cares about lol!
But for me, I like the fact that you really felt like a VIP with big comfy seats that has a pull out table
Lots of leg room, and leather chairs that recline. 
The moment you walk into the theater it already has the ambiance of a VIP.
A nice lobby and a resto/lounge. 
The bathrooms were pretty nice as well, it was an individual room with lots of space not stalls

Then we tried out some calamari and sandwiches which was pretty good

And we followed it with a little shopping at DiX30 Shopping complex and walked into
a few stores. I did pretty good and not buy a single thing :)
And ended up at the Broadway Cheesecake and had hot chocolates and cheesecake but didn't like the toblerone cheesecake as much
So NOPE the 2hr workout in the morning wasn't enough!!!
And I forgot I ate so much popcorn too!!

Project 219: Day 58 - April Showers bring May flowers- (planning)

True-North Thursday!
Finding the cure starts with the true source of my pain.

Today I finally had my physiotherapy appointment.
It's both relieving and disappointing

I felt relieved that I was on the road to recovery again and just being there was 
an important step. I was too stubborn to even make the appointment because I
knew I could heal myself. 
I realized that wisdom comes from being teachable, humble and so I had no choice but 
to listen to my body and get additional help.

What disappoints me is that each individual with their profession often contradicts
each other. It just confuses me even more. 
I kind of have my own theory of how my injury started and the pain probably escalated from
the fall in the snow but the physio based her assessment on scientific facts and in my opinion ...
does not really care about my theory of how the pain started.

I think I would know my own body better and so now on I'm gonna 
continue doing some of my own homework and researching an alternative way to heal
myself on top of the physio treatment.

Let's start by moving!
I will continue to exercise ... so yes 1.5 hrs at the gym today was fine!

Plus... I would be better off as I find ways to prevent this tendonits from happening again.
 True source comes from honesty and I am 100% certain that it all starts in my diet and 
I'm sure having body inflammation has a lot to do with it. Let's start there :)

Project 219: Day 57 -April Showers bring May flowers- (planning)

Wacky Wednesday 

What a crazy day!
Didnt sleep well for 2 days and probably got in4hrs for the 2 nights.
I finally fell asleep an hour before teaching Zumba class and was 5 mins  late. But it wasn't too bad, students are often late coming into class. It was a great class.

Then I had lunch with hubby and the submarine sandwich was pretty bland and super greasy. I felt pretty gross and couldn't wait to workout and burn whatever I ate.
So at night I has another Zumba class to teach and it was great because I added weights to my class. 

Now what i really want to do is work on trimming my waste down to a size 26 
Is this even possible considering my bone structure?? Not sure but I could at least try. I may not reach that size but a 28 would still be super! Imagine that :)

So ya I'm gonna start incorporating what i call my wacky workouts to reach this goal. 

Project 219: Day 56 - April Showers bring May flowers- (planning)

Terrific Tuesday 
This morning as tired as I was from lack of sleep I managed to go to the gym for 9:30am
The Zumba this morning was extremely energetic that I completely forgot how tired I was. The music was pumpin and not a break in between. I broke out a sweat within minutes. It was awesome!
It's what you'd expect from a man who is energetic and Cuban dancer/instructor 

Then I was still able to put in half an hour of weight training and abs workout.
Having done all that exercise, my mindset was programmed to eat well, lots of vegetables and tilapia fish for lunch probably under 600 calories
and had my shake for supper. 
But I believe I may have burned all my calories and definitely some fat after having to teach Zumba in the evening on top of my early morning workout!

I should be ready for the pink sands in Bermuda in a month :)

So ya, we're booked to go on the NCL Breakaway next month!
My goal is to look Fit and Fab by then. Now if I could just get my injured shoulder back to normal again.

Monday, April 14, 2014

Project 219: Day 55- April Showers bring May flowers- (planning)

Oh how I miss my work-outs at the gym!!!
And just to think how I used to hate working out!

This is the kind of pain that I appreciate and love...
Pain from working out!

So now my journey really starts here.
It's time to get serious and get in shape for the summer.
After 2 mths away from the gym and irregular Zumba classes 
I had gained what I would normally gain on a 2 week cruise to the Caribbeans.
That's 10 lbs!

That's from lack of sleep and a little more sweets than usual plus the lack of exercise so
yes that's a deadly recipe for weight gain!

What I've learned from these past few weeks is priceless.
 I've done much of the thinking and making sure this is truly what I want to do
and thanks to my recent physical injury I was able to pause and ponder on the path I am
planning on taking with this project 219.

At first it was a just an inspiration to blog again and then it became a 
nagging feeling that I just couldn't shake off and so I did no matter how uncomfortable
it felt to start again. Never really knew what to write about... just took it day by day
and tried to be consistent.
It had become a little exercise to see if I can still enjoy the writing
And my desires became my strength in pursuing this course.  
I decided that if I want to get somewhere, it's wise to just move along even if I'm not quite sure how to proceed. At some point I knew I'd figure it out but I wasn't gonna sit on my butt and wait for the light to come on and 'pooof' miraculously give me crystal clear directions.

Now I'm 110% sure this is my path without a doubt and I'm excited and scared at the same time but God would never tell me to do something I couldn't handle. 

Project 219: Day 53-54 - Snow is gone for good!

It was a beautiful weekend
Friday I went back to the gym for the first time and Saturday was back to regular
Zumba and strength training and the pain was welcomed.
And the rest of the day was spent grocery shopping at the Asian grocery store and
it was packed. The line was very long and Im glad I had my brother to help me
while Joe stayed home for the roof repairs.
It was a long day and I was glad to stay home and rest at night.

Sunday was church service as usual and an extra meeting afterwards.
So from 12-pm to 4pm and I was exhausted because I hardly slept the night before.
Not a great idea to skip on the anti-inflammatory pills.
The pills help with the discomfort.
I'd like to do this naturally without drugs but right now I need it to help me sleep as
much as I can.

Friday, April 11, 2014

Project219:Day 48-52 Pain pain go away!

Bad week!
But not a complete waste. I was able to gain another contract for a second day for
 Zumba at the same company.  And I believe I will be able to offer another class 
of an existing group as well.
Things are going as planned however my shoulder pain is just not going away 
as fast as I would like it to.
Ive been diagnosed with tendonits on my shoulders and today (Friday) I must've 
twisted the wrong way while sleeping and woke up with excruciating pain.
How could this little thing give me so much pain!
So this morning I'm looking for an osteopath and a physiotherapist and I think I will
add a massage therapist all at once.
I'm done with this pain!!

It's keeping me from being effective!

Monday, April 7, 2014

Project 219: Day 46-47: General Conference. A Spiritual Weekend!

I wrote a lot of my thoughts about this weekend in my personal journal.
I have many favorite messages but that's a whole book.
I love this conference because I felt a bit more involved. 

Of all the beautiful words or qoutes that I heard ... This stuck out because I love rainbows!!

Project 219: Day 45 - Next time I prefer to just take an apple a day!

Almost late for the appointment at the hospital. I wanted to keep sleeping until hubby
with his hyper tone unpleasantky asking me what tine my appointment was.

I am definitely not a morning person and wanted to just miss my appointment but I has no choice.
I got up and brushed my teeth and hair and left in a flash. 
Late of course.... but hey I made it.

So I got in right away and was surprisingly seen immediately. 
It was quick and a little disappointing because I don't think
he made a proper assessment. He asked me where my pains were
made me lift my arms and move them a certain way then tells me that I had tendonits.
I had hoped that I would get an MRI so that they will know for sure but instead
I have to see a physiotherapist and I'm not exactly happy about it because
I've seen one before and felt it wasn't working.
So anyways that was the highlight of my day.
 But Im glad that I can continue taking my meds because it helps.
I hate meds though and now I'm gearing more towards prevention just so
I don't have to go through this and the drugs.

I guess the apples a day will need to be implemented in order to keep the doctors away. 

Thursday, April 3, 2014

Project 219: Day 44 - the Nutella craving!

It's official!!!
Lack of sleep and cheesecake will make you fat!!!
But really...
Cheesecake has never affected me before like it does now. It's only because I haven't slept well in weeks and yes it's true that when we don't get a good amount of sleep our brain get confused
and the signals goes whack and we think we are hungry when in fact we are tired!
Oh the cheesecakes my hubby makes is sinfully delicious.
It's unreal and I'm a big cheesecake fan and quite picky too.

So yes I've been gaining weight and I've been telling myself that I would go back this week 
But it hasn't happened as yet.
Hubby being sick the past few days made me lazy and I took advantage of sleep.
So not having gone back to the gym, lack of sleep and cheesecake is the new recipe for fat!

Plus today was an extra awful day!
I just craved Nutella all day and I totally indulged myself and had
a few servings throughout the day.

I suppose because I'm a bit anxious about a few things like my doctor appointment 
tomorrow. I don't feel like going but I have to.

So ok I've had one pretty bad day, it's allowed!
Tomorrow is going to be better :)

Project 219: Day 43 - That's because Asian women age better!!!

Some random silly thoughts and maybe someone out there can relate :)

So I was again faced with the questions:
Do you have children???
I hate having to answer that because one question leads to another and 
before I know it I end up spilling the beans.

Nope....I'm not ashamed to say that I'm a young grandma... I've accepted it and gotten used to it.
Truthfully I just worry about making enemies lol!
It's been done before where I'm with a group of gym buddies and 
things were going chummy-chummy until personal questions arise like
children and how old they are. 
(Now I know that's the trick in determining someone's age lol!)
I still try avoiding it as much as possible because of petty women dramas 
Let's face it, 'some' of us women are competitive to some degree especially 
when we get closer to the midlife age hehe.

So because I'm Asian I always get the: "oh it's because she's Asian, they just age better!"

I agree but .... what happens when you're amongst Asians and you come across women
who are younger than you but thinks you're at least 10yrs younger than them?
What do you say then???

It's happened to me so many times and it's a fact that being Asian might be true but..but... but .. Lol!
What am I rambling about anyways??? (must be needing attention lol!)
Who cares if you're 10 yrs younger looking than you are? 
Heck it's not good enough anyways... LOL!!

The funniest part is the hubby who rubs it in by asking: 'how old do you think we are?'
and then brags how we are grandparents lol!
I think it's hilarious but I truly hate it when he does that. < Arggggh>
I just want to run when he does it in front of me.
I suppose I just hate telling my real age cos it's like revealing that you're getting old! 
The worst part is when you run the risk of suddenly becoming the bad guy and getting ignored.

Oh well... Yesterday it happened again! 
One lady whispers in the other's ear and yet I can hear her clearly:
 "that's because she's Asian"
Lol... why the whisper???
It's nothing new!

(Daily Dare: Laugh often, it's cheaper than an anti-aging cream)

Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Project 219: Day 42 - April Fooled Me!

The only April fool we've been having is the slow transition to Spring 

And instead of feeling vibrantly awake to meet a fresh springy day - I'm sleeping!

April Fools on me!
 I'm suddenly wanting to sleep all day everyday
I lost so much sleep in the past month or so that it's almost as if my body
is playing an April fool's trick on me.

First I almost forgot to go and teach Zumba because whenever I would nap for just a tiny bit, I'm completely lost with the days. 
Not sure if its morning or night.

Thank goodness for the tv show that's on in the background because it gives me an indication of what time it is.
But I've never felt happier about my sleep. 
In finally becoming the Sleeping Beauty that I once used to be lol!
Now if I could just get my youth and beauty back, that would be a dream lol!
Haha... That's another joke of course to think I could ever take back time  but a girl 
can still dream right?

Monday, March 31, 2014

Project 219: Day 41 -When Spring is hiding... start the cleaning anyways!! (part 12)

Monday's are back to Mexican Mondays!!

It's our regular FHE (Family Home Evenings) on Monday nights where we try to eat altogether as a
family and spend time together and also discuss spiritual matters with our local missionaries.

Back when I was more organized and the kids were young I would prepare a lesson, an activity and refreshments.
Now Joe makes the desserts most of the time and I prepare dinner most if the time :)
Tonight he prepared a banana chocolate chip cheesecake and it was soooo delish!

Just recently Joe had pushed the Mexican Mondays back into our Monday nights. 
Now I have to come up with some new recipes other than Fajitas, Enchiladas and Tacos lol!
Thank goodness for the wonderful recipes on the internet. 
The key is to have them low-fat :)

Project 219: Day 40 - When Spring is hiding... start the cleaning anyways!! (part 11)


So now shopping at dep't stores aren't so bad now except for Friday. I decided to shop for a dress to wear at another Asian party. And yes they know how to dress classy. 
I still hate shopping at some degree and I was reminded of that when this older salesman or owner was trying hard to push a sale by just chatting up a storm. It was so annoying I felt like telling him to let me shop in peace! I'm assuming that some clients run from this store. I wanted to do him a favor  and tell him that his marketing technique was annoying and may be annoying to some people. But I just walked out because I had no time.
So I finally found something I like. A nice red dress that was on final sale that wouldn't break the bank. I had put on a medium to try and I wasn't happy. 
So I moved on and kept looking elsewhere. 2 more hrs passed and I was completely discouraged.

I thought about the red dress again and was bothered that it was a medium size.
So I went back because I wasn't gonna leave the place empty handed. I had to see that dress again
but this time I was determined to try a small size.

So there I was in the fitting room removing my coat, scarf, sweater and clothings with difficulty because of my injured shoulder.
I put the dress on very slowly and to my surprise it fit well and better than the medium size.
I told myself there was no way that I'm gonna allow myself to get big again. 
"I'm a size small now" lol!
So I felt very good and relieved that I didn't look fat.
Then it came time to take it off.
Putting it on was fine and bearable with my painful arm but removing it upwards
(Because it had no zipper) was hell.
I was in such excruciating pain as I tried to remove the dress that my head and arms were stuck 
for a good while. I was too embarrased to call the saleslady for help so I just stood there crunched over crying my eyes out. Lol!
What was I thinking?
It was even tough for me to lift my arm just to put my hair in a ponytail that morning and there I was struggling to take off a size small dress.

So with all the time wasted and hardships, I bought the dress and wire it Saturday night. 
Hubby was pleased and found me hot :)
Mission accomplished lol!

Sunday morning was full of snow again. Church was very good.
I enjoyed our Sunday school and Relief Society messages. Both insync with how
I was feeling lately. 
Being very tried and tested lately with physical as well as financial pains. It's all part if growth and 
the lessons taught in class were perfect examples of how to deal with trials and then how to get back up. So at times we experience these trials more than once and it's a reminder that sometimes a lesson needs to be relearned. It's ok... it passes.
But we always want to know the "when and how"
But it passes!

Project 219: Day 39 - When Spring is hiding... start the cleaning anyways!! (part 10)

Slept very well the night before and was well rested to teach Zumba in the morning
However to my surprise the church hall was full of scouting activities
Luckily we had an hour window of free time to use the gym and had the space we needed
I was excited to teach 3 new Zumba choreographies. 
It feels good to refresh.
This is part of my cleaning up.... New and Refreshed dances!

Something sad yet funny happened while shopping on Friday.

Im now reminded of how I used to hate clothes shopping locally at the malls and that's probably a good reason why online shopping became an addictive hobby quickly.
Here's my pet peeves about shopping
1. It's time consuming and very difficult to shop in the winter with the coat and excess clothings hanging on you and having to move from one department store to the next. It's a flippin workout!

2. I hate it when the saleslady comes and bothers me. Once a sales girl came to help (or so she thought) but instead was very rude and insulting. I told her how i don't like shopping because I didn't like how I looked when I tried the clothes on. She answered with: "Well it's probably because you don't know how to accessorize". Yes it was true but did she have to be so mean?

3. I hated that I couldn't fit in a smaller size. For the longest time I was a size 12 and sometimes I'd get lucky and pass for a size 10 at times depending on how the clothing is made. Being an Asian and going to so many parties seeing all these petite frames just made things feel worse. I felt obese!!!
 So it was no fun shopping trying to fit into these clothes. It felt more of a chore and I really didn't enjoy it. The only thing comfortable back then was casual clothes like sweats and big sweaters.

So looking back, it was hell trying to shop and trying to look good in these outfits.

It's only since 2008 that I saw a glimpse of my potential body again. Then I went into the yo-yo mode and tried to get back into that feel-good shape again.
2011 came around and it was going to be the beginning of a fat-girl's journey's end.
So I've kept it off for over 3 yrs. there are times when I would go up the scale but I know how to immediately release the weight again. 
It's become a new lifestyle and mindset to stay fit and healthy. 

Friday, March 28, 2014

Project 219: Day 38 -When Spring is hiding... start the cleaning anyways!! (part 9)

More snow!!!
This morning my car was covered in more snow.
When will this end?

Anyways it was probably a good thing that it snowed.
I was so tempted to go to the gym today and I've made a promise to myself that I would just 
get my exercise from teaching Zumba and not over exert because of my bad shoulder.
I planned to just taking it easy the rest of the month and get back to the gym next month.
That's already next week yay!!!
But today I was soooo tempted and was justifying my wants
and told myself that 'I'm bored and being inactive can make my health worse'
which was partially true but come to think of it, I teach 4x a week. I kinda regret getting rid of
some classes but I had to for my well-being.
I'd prefer to teach or workout 2x/day but I just can't at the moment.u

I was speaking to a friend and my Zumba student about working out and how her body
looks for it. I related so well with her because aside from feeling guilty,
I feel really bored or tired when I don't do it.

Revisiting back 3+ years ago, I hated to work-out at the gyms or anywhere for that matter.
I hated sweating! It was boring, boring, boring!
Lol.. I couldn't sweat. 

Now I want and look forward to working out everyday and even when I feel like I'm dying 
I just go to Zumba and I come back to life!
Some people might think I'm obsessed with it but heck that's a great obsession to have!
I told myself that my fitness and health is on top of my priorities and followed through.
It's just fortunate that I found something I love.
And now I also love to use the machines and weights for toning.
I can't wait till next week!!!

(Daily Dare: getting obsessed with what you're passionate about
 can make life very pleasurable )

Project 219: Day 37 - When Spring is hiding... start the cleaning anyways!! (part 8)

So Thursday (yesterday) was terribly slow 
No much done, just laying low taking it easy
Still lots of pain in my shoulder and lost some sleep again so I was trying to rest all day
and worked on the other Albums for shutterfly.

Sorting out photos as cleaning it up is a big job
We live in a world of abundance and with today's technology we take hundreds more
pictures than we did when film was around.
There's just so much to distract us today.
Heck even just sorting out photos can take up a whole day.

We snap away and not think twice about the amount of work to go through them.
Well maybe some of us don't even look at them again.
Just the photos on my cel phone has over 3K
It's nuts!!!
Just cleaning that up takes forever.
We go on a lot of trips and I often sort out the thousands of photos that we come home with.
2013 was the killer!!!
Too many trips = too many photos.
I love creating my photobooks and designing them but the photo sorting just kills me.
I'm many photobooks behind and I swear I can probably make a living out of making photobooks
Heck I've seen some crazy expensive books and a friend of mine just told me that 
someone she knew cost her $400 for her 30 page photobook and you had to handle it with gloves
and she said it looked mediocre compared to mine lol!
I believed her because I've seen some other ones too and like my hubby says .. I have the eyes for
creativity and design. Now that's awesome to know that I've got a little bit of hidden talents right there lol!

Here's just a few 8x8 photobooks I've created not too long ago

Thursday, March 27, 2014

Project 219: Day 36 -When Spring is hiding... start the cleaning anyways!! (part 7)

So Yesterday was a pretty good day.
Tiring but good!
I hope to have more days like that, busy doing special things.
I got both my Shutterfly books done...under pressure because of the special deadline.

I got my 2 choreographies done for Zumba
which I managed to pull off during classes.

I hope to just blog about accomplishments as I go along.
This is to see my progress and move in the right direction.
Being accountable keeps me in line and this is the best way to do it through blogging.
It's my way of returning and reporting.

Now onto more planning for my Spring Cleaning ...glad it's still doesn't feel like Spring 
so I can put if off for just a little while lol!

Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Project 219: Day 35 - When Spring is hiding... start the cleaning anyways!! (part 6)

The List list list...

What a crazy day so far!
I write all kinds of things I'd like to do dor the day and I get at least half of it done!

Yes I over plan, I have high expected tigons for myself and I'm dying to nap but I know if I did just that
half of my day would begone just trying to get in 30mins.

So I decided just to stay up and move.

So I decided to choreograph at least 3 Zumba dances and it's very difficult when you're 
half asleep.
Then I gotta put in time for blogging as well while I cook.
I also have a deadline to meet for 2 Shutterfly photobook a due tomorrow
and I have not yet sorted out the photos.

Overwhelmed but at least I got 3 dance choreographies almost done.
I had one down pact but the other 2 are just hanging.
It will be done today though.

I never thought I could ever get started but sometimes you just gotta push yourself
beyond the limit at times. 

It's 4:34pm, my potroast is getting ready to bake I the oven and now I an shower
and sit while it's cooking and do my photobook.

That's another thing I love to do is create photobooks under pressure lol!
Same with Zumba, I create dances under pressure  and it's still enjoyable because 
I love it!

Reminder: Zumba at 6:20

We will see how far I get today :)

(Daily Dare: when I love to do something, it's easy push a little beyond my limit, it won't kill me)

Monday, March 24, 2014

Project 219: Day 34 -When Spring is hiding... start the cleaning anyways!! (part 5)

Last night I dreamt of my personal trainer in a very serious tone telling me that I should never count calories! I was very disturbed by what he said but at the same time I kinda felt as if I already knew
What he was talking about. 
I remember not wanting to argue and just wanting to know why he said what he said.
I had my own answers to the statement and then woke up!

Night dreaming has been a wonderful entertainment for me in the past and Lately I've been deprived of
that luxury because of insomnia and shoulder pains.
I've been thinking a lot about my health especially my diet which I feel is a huge contributor to my
pains. It's the sugar! 
I'm killing myself with too much sugar. 
Although I know that I will always burn off what I will put in,
the lack of sleep is counteractively adding to my stress and weight problem.
So far, my Zumba and my health products and supplements are keepin me alive... Thank God!
But in the back of my head, I can't be that lucky forever.

Why the dream???

Well, I don't watch much television but lately because I've been very laid back and still,
I sometimes have the tv on the talk shows just waiting to see what they have to say about health.

When Dr. Oz came on, I was in my bedroom when I heard him say the words...
"Don't ever count calories again!"

I hurried to the living room and thought: "What da Heck?!?"

Now I was glued to Dr. Oz thinking about my dream the night before.

And just as I thought in my dreams... There is no need to count calories when you're eating all the right foods! And there it was on TV my dreams live on Dr.Oz

Yep strange but amazing!!!
I won't even question it because tin just not new for me.

So Im including a new item of business in my Spring cleaning this time around.
I will make room for my brain to absorb new and important yet relevant information. 

(Daily dare: I'm deleting some old irrelevant infos stored in that cluttered brain of mine.)

Project 219: Day 33- When Spring is hiding... start the cleaning anyways!! (part 4)

Sunday: StakeCoference

This conference was a really special one for me. I learned so much
I took down a lot of notes in my journal to refer back to.

One thing that stood out was the thought of being soft, meek and humble.
Kind of like being broken from falling down on the ice on Saturday. 
I felt helpless and humbled.

The other thing was getting focused and facing the right direction. This one is a principle that I will apply for sure as a way to focus and have success.
Also that things are done by design, nothing is ever a coincidence.

The last and most important message was from the general authority
It was about being reverent. Having reverence for the sacred things and reflecting on how we feel about Deity. Our actions reflect on that and we we should enhance our relationship through reverence.
He spoke about Public worship, Family Worship and Personal Worship.
There's a lot to remember that I can write down here but it's for myself to remember 

The point is to remember have a clear understanding of Him and have no doubt who we are!

(Daily Dare: When we find our secure foundation, we will never have a thought of giving up or quitting.)

Project 219: Day 32- When Spring is hiding... start the cleaning anyways!! (part 3)

Saturday re-cap: I fell on my face!!!

This was a crazy day. I'm really not a morning person but when it comes to Zumba
I will get up. Even if I'm feeling sick!

As usual, the routine starts with our little grandparent duties by bringing my granddaughter 
to her gymnastics with hubby. We were so proud of her progress as she tries to participate
despite her tendency to always stray off from the group (wonder where that comes from) lol!
It's amazing to watch how a little 3yr-old girl absorb what is being taught. She is fearless and perhaps because she knows no limits. At first she was a little bit afraid as she walked through the higher beams but got up over and over again. 
Now she runs through the beams with her hands out like an airplane on tip-toes.

And afterwards, we headed for my Zumba class and she was happy to join me.
However the weather became my worst enemy!

Yes our Spring was again covered with more snow on Saturday and with it hid black ice
under our feet.
As we walked out the car, I pulled my gym bag which contained my shoes, hand weights, etc out of the trunk. Just as I closed the trunk and started walking....
I must have flew off the ice and into the ground face forward.
Then the gym back that must've been 15lbs landed on my back feeling like I was wrestled to the ground!

Before I could scream my pain away, I remember briefly thinking  "how can this happen to me?"
Not only do I have pinched-nerve on my shoulder that's been killing me the past month or so
now I was down on the ground on those shoulders and having the bag pounce on me.
"What have I done to deserve this? What did I do?!!??!"

My tears became a mix of anguish and  pain.
There I was on the floor, and was afraid to get up sacred if I was more broken.
Joe put a pillow under my face and I wanted to rest a little.
I could hear my grandaughter worrying and telling his Lolo that I fell.
Then I finally got up with Joe's help and I couldn't feel my arm perhaps because I was
partially numb and was not wearing gloves. The cold snow and ice on the ground was 
a bit of help so staying down there was a smart move.

I saw my Zumba student and teaching assistant just happen to get to the parking lot
while I was down. I told her I wanted to go home cos I was soaked and in pain.

My husband and I decided we should go to the hospital anyways and get checked.
Even during the car ride and the pain I was still hesitating to go and thought I would be fine on my own. But somehow the same questions came back...

"What have I done to deserve this? What did I do?!!??!"

Is this what I get from voluntarily serving for months and helping others get fit?  
I knew I was not blaming God, I just couldn't because deep down I knew I needed the fall!

I knew I had been too stubborn to be treated for my shoulder pains for weeks that spoils
my sleep and quality of life.
I had to fall!!!
I immediately knew that this was a blessing in disguise.
So I cried for completely different reason.
I cried because I hated the thought of having to wait at the emergency and having to take drugs lol!
I was already taking all forms of natural supplements to heal myself and yes I was on my way to better health. I finally slept 2 nights in a row. 
Why the fall?

Perhaps I needed a speedier recovery with the help of the doctors.
I know I could use it, I needed to know for sure what I had been battling with.

So our whole Saturday was spent at the hospital and it wasn't as bad a wait as I thought.
So it was a pinched-nerve but and will see a  specialist in two weeks.
For now I've been prescribed with anti-inflammatory pills and morphine!
But I'm not taking the morphine.. That's just crazy!

Lesson of the day: my thoughts about falling hard was towards my grandaughter getting up each time she fell and got up walking on the balance beam. At first she was getting help getting back on, but eventually she got up on her own.
So when I was down, I knew I had no one to blame and yes I can always get up on my own but there's no shame in getting the help in getting up from loved ones or doctors once in a while :)

(Daily Dare: recognize that there are blessings of falling down or falling short)